Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Life. Program


I feel like I've been gone, lost from word smithing a long time, and I was wondering to myself what kept me.
Turns out, the reasons call themselves Legion(s).
But here is one of them, and its very own personal short name is Program. Christmas Sacrament Meeting Program, to be formal and complete.
An assignment, a gift of opportunity, from my bishop. Given, as I recall, in August, but flowering only in the snows of December. And though in the end I wrote nothing, to write was my actual assignment, if we are calling all things by their true names here. I wrote nothing because I could feel nothing. My words were wooden; they refused to sing. Instead, I read. I gathered for weeks, read and read, searched, cried, hoarded, copied, passed things to friends. "Listen," I demanded at the painter, "put that down and listen." Poems. Stories. Scripture. Letters. Carols. Press releases. Email from Iraq. Orders from two hundred years of warfare. Jars of Clay, rocker boys who sing their whole hearts out in Drummer Boy. Dickens and his ghosts. I felt quite at home there, in the smokes and smudge of a midwinter London fog. "It was cold, bleak, biting weather: foggy withal...the city clocks had only just gone three, but it was quite dark already: it had not been light all day..." Dark, already for me, in the dead mid September. Oh, it matters not the month, beware the ides. The account of the Mormon martyrs in Carthage jail, sending out for wine, for spirits to lift their spirits which were "unusually dull and languid...a remarkable depression of spirits...all depressed, dull and gloomy and surcharged with indefinite ominous forebodings," as John Taylor recorded in his Witness to the Martyrdom. John singing to Joseph and Hyrum, though he protested he had no spirit for a song. Why do I go back and back to that story, that moment?

The warning signs and weight of tired conversations
In the absence of a shoulder, in the abscess of a thief,
On the brink of this destruction, on the eve of bittersweet.
Now all the demons look like prophets and I'm living out
Every word they speak, every word they speak.

Do you know what I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"?
What I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"
What I mean when I say, "I don't want to be alone"
-Jars of Clay, Work


Our copy of Witness falls open to that page. John sings, not for joy, but "in consonance with those feelings" I have quoted above. He sings for expression in suffering rather than for solace, knowing "[T]he song is pathetic and the tune plaintive..." When, and after a moment, Hyrum asks for the song again, John has no more in him, protests he has no feeling for singing. And Hyrum says, "Oh! never mind, commence singing and you will get the spirit of it."

Commence singing.
You will get the spirit of it.

After I stored away nearly all my harvest the few things printed below remained; fifteen minutes of words to be read aloud at a nice pace by Leah, not any longer a child but still a very young girl, Harrison, a young man, Krista, a very young mother, Stephen, a father of young children, and Lisa, a young grandmother. Good voices, all, rich and varied. So I am sharing it with you, too. Because these are some of the treasures I have had in my pockets these last few weeks, watching December float past me in all its state and silliness, reverence and revelry, glory and gilded, glistening succulence. Good old December, food for the spirit, comfort and joy for the body, beauty for the soul.
My bishop offered me a chance to gather. It was hard to find the rhythm, the sway and pace of the dance.
I did not feel like singing.
As John Taylor says, "At his request, I did so."
If ever you were to feel, this December, or any other, that your feet did not move lightly in the season's dance, I would advise you to sit a spell, rest from the dance, but sing the tunes.

Commence singing.
You will get the spirit of it.

There is work to do, and though sometimes this comfort sounds cheap and easy to speak, I feel to the marrow and core of my bones (especially those bones grown stronger for the breaking) that we are gifted in our strength for the tasks, gifted in our skills, gifted in the holiness of mundane giving. The breakfast, the folded laundry, the washed and bandaged cut, the trimmed hair, the baked bread, the swept floor, the story read aloud, the words in time of crying, the helpless, ragged breath in time of laughing, the pages turned in time of gathering.
To every thing there is a season.
"Not to know that any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness." Ah, Scrooge, my soulmate.
"It's Christmas Day!" said Scrooge to himself. "I haven't missed it."

And our eyes at last shall see him,
Through his own redeeming love,
For that child so dear and gentle
Is our Lord in heaven above:
And he leads his children on
To the place where he is gone.
-Once in Royal David's City

How, my dears, can I keep from singing?


*******************
Opening hymn, I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.

Sacrament hymn, God Loved Us, So He Sent His Son

(STEPHEN)- For behold, did not Moses prophesy unto them concerning the coming of the Messiah, and that God should redeem his people? Yea, and even all the prophets who have prophesied ever since the world began--have they not spoken more or less concerning these things? Have they not said that God himself should come down among the children of men, and take upon him the form of man, and go forth in mighty power upon the face of the earth? Yea, and have they not said that he should bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, and that he, himself, should be oppressed and afflicted?
Mosiah 13:33-35

(LISA)- Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10

(KRISTA)- And in this mountain shall the Lord of Hosts make unto all people a feast of fat things, a feast of wine on the lees, of fat things full of marrow, of wine on the lees well refined. He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off of all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the Lord hath spoken it. And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us; this is the Lord; we have waited for him; we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.
Is. 25:6-9

(STEPHEN)- The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined. For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.
Is. 9:2&6

O Come, O Come (men's quartet)

(HARRISON)- And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. But the angel said unto them, Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day, in the city of David, a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
-Luke 2:8-14

Stars Were Gleaming (primary)


(LEAH)- Christmas Morning
by Elizabeth Madox Roberts
If Bethlehem were here today,
Or this were very long ago,
There wouldn't be a winter time
Nor any cold or snow.

I'd run out through the garden gate,
And down along the pasture walk;
And off beside the cattle barns
I'd hear a kind of gentle talk.

I'd move the heavy iron chain
And pull away the wooden pin;
I'd push the door a little bit
And tiptoe very softly in.

The pigeons and the yellow hens
And all the cows would stand away;
Their eyes would open wide to see
A lady in the manger hay,

If this were very long ago
And Bethlehem were here today.

And Mother held my hand and smiled—
I mean the lady would—and she
Would take the woolly blankets off
Her little boy so I could see.

His shut-up eyes would be asleep,
And he would look like our John,
And he would be all crumpled too,
And have a pinkish color on.

I'd watch his breath go in and out.
His little clothes would all be white.
I'd slip my finger in his hand
To feel how he could hold it tight.

And she would smile and say, "Take care,"
The mother, Mary, would, "Take care";
And I would kiss his little hand
And touch his hair.

While Mary put the blankets back
The gentle talk would soon begin.
And when I'd tiptoe softly out
I'd meet the wise men going in.
The First Noel (congregation)

(KRISTA)- And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us go now even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known to us.

(STEPHEN)- Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, saying, Where is the child that is born, the Messiah of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east and are come to worship him.

(LISA)- And behold, there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon...and he came by the Spirit into the temple...when the parents brought in the child Jesus...Then he took him up in his arms and blessed God and said, Lord, now lettest thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word; For mine eyes have seen thy salvation, which thou hast prepared before the face of all people; A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel...And Simeon...said unto Mary his mother, Behold this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against; (Yea, a spear shall pierce through him to the wounding of thy own soul also)...

(STEPHEN)- And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon him.
And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.

(KRISTA)- God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.

(LISA)- But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.
The Gospels of Matthew and Luke; the Acts of the Apostles; Joseph Smith translation.

(LISA)- And when they had sung an hymn they went out into the mount of Olives. And they came to a place which was named Gethsemane, which was a garden; and the disciples began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy, and to complain in their hearts, wondering if this be the Messiah. And Jesus knowing their hearts, said unto his disciples, Sit ye here, while I shall pray. And he taketh with him Peter, and James, and John, and rebuked them, and said unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death; tarry ye here and watch.
Mark 14:26, 36-38, Joseph Smith Translation

(STEPHEN)- Then Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the high priest's servant, and cut off his ear. Then Jesus said to Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?
John 18:10&11

(KRISTA)- And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore.
Is. 2:4


Candlelight Carol (choir)

HOW FESTIVE SPIRIT HALTED GREAT WAY
by Neil Griffiths, press officer of the Royal British Legion Scotland.

(STEPHEN)- NINETY years ago tonight, a group of bedraggled Scottish soldiers, Cameronians mostly from Lanark, spotted Germans clambering into the open with no sign of hostile intent.They were on the Western Front, near Lille. Baffled, they held their fire but the Germans came right up to the trench and offered cigars. It was 1914 and the near-mythical Christmas truce had begun, when men laid down their weapons, shook hands and embraced the season's message of peace on earth. If it seems incredible to us, to the men themselves it seemed beyond comprehension.
Extraordinary circumstances often lead to extraordinary events.

(KRISTA)- It came upon the midnight clear, that glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth to touch their harps of gold.
"Peace on the earth, good will to men, from Heaven's all gracious King!"
The world in solemn stillness lay, to hear the angels sing.

The first Battle of Ypres in October and November had brought horrific casualty figures. The British lost more than 50,000 men and the Germans perhaps twice as many, but a lull followed as both sides awaited replacements for the savage losses. The huge armies dug in and watched each other as close neighbours, able to hear one another's chatter and smell their cooking. On Christmas Eve, frost hardened the mud and froze the pools.

Still through the cloven skies they come, with peaceful wings unfurled,
And still their heavenly music floats o'er all the weary world;
Above its sad and lowly plains they bend on hovering wing;

And ever o'er its Babel sounds the blessed angels sing.

When night fell, almost simultaneously, the Germans mounted trees on their parapets and lit candles and lanterns. Thousands of British watched in fascination as the wondrous sight was joined by the distant haunting sound of men singing Stille Nacht. Every survivor spoke of the abiding impact of that one carol.

In many cases the British responded with a carol of their own. When the British sang O Come All Ye Faithful the Germans accompanied with the Latin version, Adeste Fideles. The Belgians and French, holding more than 400 miles of the front, shared the same experiences but very much at arms' length - the invader was on their soil and more than 300,000 French had fallen in August alone.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife the world has suffered long;
Beneath the angel strain have rolled two thousand years of wrong;

And man, at war with man, hears not the love song which they bring;

O hush the noise, ye men of strife, and hear the angels sing!


Both sides wrote home using phrases like "fairytale", "day of fiction" and "extraordinary". At its simplest it was a triumph of the human spirit, when the ordinary soldier called off the conflict for Christmas, when the will for peace prevailed over the might of war. By 1918 the Armistice had been signed and the memory of the Christmas truce of 1914 slipped into legend, a moment from the forgotten golden age even the participants came to suspect never happened. But it did happen - when man's fundamental decency surfaced briefly in the midst of hell - and should never be forgotten.

Edinburgh News

For lo! the days are hastening on, by prophets seen of old,
When with the ever circling years shall come the time foretold,

When peace shall over all the earth its ancient splendors fling,

And the whole world give back the sound which now the angels sing.


Still, Still (instrumental)

(LISA)- A poignant description of the famous Christmas Day Truce in 1914, was bought by the singer Chris de Burgh at an auction in London yesterday.

The author is untraceable and it is not known what his fate was after the day of improbable gaiety, with carols, letters and presents from home, and a feast in the trenches of chocolate, oranges and hot Christmas pudding.

Historic documents experts at Bonham's auction house said the letter was a rare surviving example of a genuine original. It was clearly treasured and bears the marks of being read and reread and careful repairs to tears.

After a fiercely contested sale, De Burgh said he had a strong personal interest in the history of the first world war, in which his great uncle Thomas de Burgh was the first officer killed, and his grandfather, General Sir Eric de Burgh, served in the trenches.

The letter is headed "British Expeditionary Force, Friday December 25th 1914". It reads:

(HARRISON)-"My Dear Mater,

This will be the most memorable Christmas I've ever spent or likely to spend: since about tea time yesterday I don't think there's been a shot fired on either side up to now. Last night turned a very clear frosty moonlight night, so soon after dusk we had some decent fires going and had a few carols and songs. The Germans commenced by placing lights all along the edge of their trenches and coming over to us - wishing us a Happy Christmas etc ... Some of our chaps went over to their lines. I think they've all come back bar one from 'E' Co. They no doubt kept him as a souvenir.

"There must be something in the spirit of Christmas as to day we are all on top of our trenches running about ... After breakfast we had a game of football at the back of our trenches! We've had a few Germans over to see us this morning. They also sent a party over to bury a sniper we shot in the week ... About 10.30 we had a short church parade the morning service held in the trench ...

"Just before dinner I had the pleasure of shaking hands with several Germans ... I exchanged one of my balaclavas for a hat. I've also got a button off one of their tunics. We... had a decent chat. They say they won't fire tomorrow if we don't so I suppose we shall get a bit of a holiday - perhaps ... We can hardly believe that we've been firing at them ... it all seems so strange. With much love from Boy.

(LEAH)- And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children...This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord...
Is. 54:13&17

(LISA)- Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27

Oh, Come All Ye Faithful (congregation)

(LEAH)-Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open--are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world--stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death--and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.

And if you keep it for a day, why not always?

Henry Van Dyke, Keeping Christmas



Sleep Little One, Sleep (choir)


(STEPHEN)- So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, feed my lambs. He saith unto him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
John 21:15-17

(HARRISON)- And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written...concerning me...And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day; And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. And ye are witnesses of these things.
Luke 24:44-48

(LISA)- And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.
Mark 16:15

(KRISTA)- Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10

(LEAH)- And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.
2 Nephi 25:26

From All that Dwell Below the Skies (congregation)

********************

God rest you merry.



Noah's photos

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Meditations. Words Fail.


Lines written Extempore, on receiving, in the month of December, a Gift, a Token of memorial and of sweet and tender care, shocking in its lovely Unexpectedness; here presented after minimal Fussing.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2Timothy 1:7

Small and stupid words fighting out which among them shall be first to abase and embarrass itself here.

"Thank" and "you" won the first heat. As they so often do. Though predictable to the point of mundanity, their unfailing leadership not all bad, especially as "you" does so much heavy lifting and can stand in so very many places at the same time. The others murmur and protest, jostle for a standing in the line. "Love" and "this" vied to run next, but "you" is fighting fiercely to displace "this," and it's not looking good for the impersonal pronoun. As was said, "you" wants to be everywhere. Is everywhere, these days. "Broken" has simply enjoyed too much face time of late, as has "smiling", hence they are no longer taken seriously; "laughing" and "crying" have lost credibility in precisely the same way. In a canny bid for power, "humbled", a relative newcomer, has joined a coalition formed by "to", "the", and "dust" and is making great strides, intending to hold its ground. "Wow" has raised its great, silly head, wagging senselessly and shamelessly as the others turn away; even small and stupid words are mortified by "wow" 's antics. "Wow", the blissful mutt of the word world, notices nothing, happy in the frolic, spreading affection, hair, confidence, saliva and a deep, doggy contentment in equal measure. Vapid hasty "repay" jumps up and down, stamping tiny insignificant feet, insisting on its spotlit moment. Long-time heavy weight "never" has come silently and somberly to stand in front of "repay", lending the upstart both credibility and stability. While no one could ever speak out against "never", still, most of them cannot fathom how "repay" fancies itself a player in such a weighted conversation. "Debt," perhaps, "undying", certainly, arguably even "slave". But "repay"? The very notion. "Repay" looks to "you" for backing, relying on the unprecedented surge in importance and popularity the second person pronoun has recently enjoyed; "you", however, is looking firmly off in another direction, entranced by the graceful stance and wistful vulnerability of "need". What a power-pairing that would be, hmm? "Moved" is, well, all over the place, chasing after "deeply", and even considering such unlikely couplings as "irrevocably" (not strictly a member of the small word club) and "heartstoppingly"(worse and worse). These are such oddball efforts ("heartstoppingly" not even being a fully formed word, only some sort of bastard offspring) that "moved" is fading out of the running, despairing of support. "Shy" stands alone, at once miserable and pleased, never courting favor but always strongly supported by the crowd, not that "shy" would notice the crowd. Ah, "now" has offered to back up "shy". Fat lot of good that will do, though it is a noble effort. But then, "now" is always impatient. And here, at the end of it all, comes a dark horse, taking the lead in great, ground-eating strides! "Unworthy" crosses the line, the winner by a whisper, barely outpacing "joy". "Joy" will take it next time, wait and see if it doesn't (though how "joy" fell among this crowd is one of the mysteries). Yes, the smart money is on "joy" for the future.

Which leaves "I", lonely and unhappy, for what can "I" do without "you"? Bring "need" here to lie soft between, so "you" will settle, and "I" can slip into place, into the place that feels like home.

Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;
Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,
But is now made manifest.
2Timothy 1:8-10